i read the news today

It is comforting, sometimes, to be reminded that yours is still in many ways a small town.

At this moment, the city’s attention has been captured by a stray elk spotted this morning near the City Centre building. (Or, as CBC Radio put it, near Art-is-in Bakery, one of several businesses located at City Centre and an apparent Stu Mills favourite.) As I write this, the elk remains at large. And, another sinkhole or road-rage stabbing notwithstanding, it is likely to continue to command the full attention of local media for the remainder of the day.

I like that. Just as I like traditions such as stopping on the western Parkway to allow birds to cross. Or the kerfuffle over the loss of DQ and KFC signs — as though either is a local business. There’s a lot going on in this city. A million or so people live in the area. But when an elk is on the loose…

And I’m OK with that. To a point. It is, at least, a welcome distraction from the Sinéad-Miley feud that has inexplicably dominated international media in recent days. Sexy? Perhaps. And certainly no feud generates more old-time voyeuristic attention than a feud between females. I am proud to say I have not read Ms O’Connor’s parental advice to a young woman so clearly in need of some. Nor have I paid any attention to the responses of a misguided youth who has seemingly staked her career on portraying herself as your favourite achy breaky tart. Frankly, she has a pretty brief window to be a star. Have fun with it, I say. Plenty of time to write that tell-all memoir when the dust settles.

But no. Not interested. I wish both women all the best, and do hope they, and more importantly we, can move on to more important things.

Like elk.

Of course, the stray creature also provides a convenient distraction from less tasty matters such as out-of-control spending by our provincial government, the imminent collapse of the U.S. federal government and potentially dodgy goings-on in the world of telecommunications here at home. Not to mention spying. Remember when tales of espionage could grip a nation? In 2013, they’ve got nothing on Miley vs. Sinéad.

Or a stray elk. I do hope to poor thing is OK. And I thank local media for putting all their reporters on the story.