two weeks

Well, there’s really only one topic of discussion in the entertainment world at the moment

Is Beyoncé about to release a surprise album?

(And speaking of surprises, Prince is playing a concert in our basement this evening. Please mind the barricades, people.)

It’s been a year since the Destiny’s Child alumnus’s previous unexpected album, so this time it could be considered expected. Indeed, it will be a great disappointment to all humanity if we have to wait until 2015. Seems to me a surprise, just in time for the holidays, is the least Beyoncé can do for us.

After all, a full year between albums? Back in the day, The Beatles were required to complete an album every 15 minutes!

So the ball is in your court, Beyoncé. No pressure, but the world is counting on you to make life worthwhile.

For one thing, it’s a golden opportunity to show all those naysayers who’ve loudly proclaimed that Taylor Swift’s new release will be popular music’s last platinum album. (Mind you, I’m sure Axl Rose has something up his sleeve as well. Of course, we’re not asking for another masterpiece on the scale of Chinese Democracy. The man is only human, after all.)

For another, it’s a chance to finally knock that Pharrell Williams song out of our heads.

We’ll know in two weeks, it says here. Maybe three. In the meantime, we must try to remain calm. It won’t be easy.

But, uh, perhaps these time-wasters can help:

Work It Out

A reminder of how great Beyoncé can be when she channels her inner Aretha. Plus, you get Austin Powers.

The Fall

A reminder that it’s not always easy being Beyoncé.

Two Guys

A reminder that if Beyoncé won’t sing Beyoncé for us, others will.

Twigs, FKA

A reminder that there are more interesting things going in R&B in 2014.

Of course, all that could change in two weeks. Or three. Or not.

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