Category Archives: On the bus

on the couch

Enter the second round of the NHL playoffs. Excitement is not the word for it.

But I like to think we’ve all learned a few things from watching the first round.

Things like, um…

The Canadian Armed Forces totally rock!

Referees do not. Continue reading

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off the bus

Well, this blog isn’t exactly paying the bills. So I’m considering property development as a sideline.

My first proposal is to construct a 210-storey condo building across the street from Parliament Hill. I am aware of clearly defined height restrictions the City of Ottawa places on new development and fully anticipate Council may insist that, in the name of preserving the character of the neighbourhood, I reduce that number. I reckon we can settle on 208 storeys. We developers are all about compromise. Continue reading

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Filed under On the bus

Irish times

Welcome to the coldest St. Patrick’s Day any of us can remember. Let’s get out and enjoy.

You’ll have to start without me, mind. Not being Irish — I was born in Canada — I’ve never been one to partake of the green-beer novelty that is the modern St. Paddy’s celebration. Indeed, I’ve always sensed something downright wrong about the concept of pretending to be ‘Irish for a day’ by drinking to excess. I am thankful we do not similarly honour other nationalities by enforcing negative stereotypes for a day. Continue reading

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Filed under On the bus

on the bus yet again

It’s either so clever as to be over our heads, or it’s particularly dumb. Either way, I cannot avert my eyes from the bus ad for Ottawa Midway Magic, the SuperEx substitute slated to take place next month at the future site of Ottawa’s very own casino. (Well, one of Ottawa’s casinos. And, come to think of it, why is our mayor demanding a mere two casinos for the nation’s capital? I say a casino on every corner! Or, at least, in every social-services centre.) Advance passes, the ad promises, can be purchased at half-price. Also promised is the following: “All rides. No admission. Limitless fun.” Continue reading

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Filed under On the bus, Ottawa

off the bus

A few things I have considered doing for you, dear reader, but have decided are not worth the effort. By sharing these with you today, I am finally able to break those chains and move on. I feel better already.

Of course, if anyone has an answer to any or all of these mysteries…

Is any of those smiling faces on the PRESTO bus ads purchasing one mode in English and another in French?

How many advertisements is one exposed to during an average Ottawa Senators game at the Palladium (or whatever it’s called)?

How many local chip wagons offer the “best fries in town”?

What are the precise boundaries of Vanier — not New Edinburgh, not Overbrook, but Vanier? Admit it, people, you’re in Vanier!

How many Elvis fans can’t be wrong? (Fifty-four years ago, the number stood at 50 million.)

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Filed under On the bus, Ottawa